The year when I was a eight-year-old boy, I underwent the most embarrassing day. That day, I went to a market with my mother. At first, we just went around and tasted the sample of food. A few minutes later, I had no idea where my mom went. At that moment, I felt nervous because the market was filled with people.
The first thing I would like to do was managed to fing my mom. Then I started to look for a chubby woman who had curly hair. Ten minutes later, I was exited that I found a person who was similar to my mom. As a result, I ran to grasp her hand and kept calling her "mom". No sooner had she turned around than I felt very embarrassed because she not only wasn't my mom but carried a baby in her arm. At that time I felt that I was possessed and I burst into crying. When I was in despair, I found a woman running to me anxiously. That was my mom. After she carried my hand, I relaxed. Though I arrived home savely, I underwent the most embarrassing day. I would never forget that day.
fing...find
回覆刪除exited....excited?
grasp her hand ....改成gripped her by the arm
than...then
上面都講光了...
回覆刪除作者已經移除這則留言。
回覆刪除Then I started to look for a chubby woman (who had) curly hair 括號部分我會用with
回覆刪除The first thing I would like to do was managed to fing my mom. →find my mom
回覆刪除Then I started to look for a chubby woman who had curly hair. →Then要加上,
還OK
回覆刪除只是用字有點粗糙
有些用過的字可以代換
savely->safely
回覆刪除When I was in despair->When I was droven into despair???會不會比較好
*fing 打錯囉
回覆刪除*exited 打錯囉
句子的用法都不錯 教過得都有用上去
a eight-year-old boy 確定是a 和an
回覆刪除fing.... 要也是fin運動飲料喔
burst into crying 這句感覺有點怪 介係詞我不確定你用的對不對
After she carried my hand, I relaxed 要不要用until句形去修飾呢會比較漂亮喔