2011年3月2日 星期三

The most embarrasing day

The year when I was a eight-year-old boy, I underwent the most embarrassing day.  That day, I went to a market with my mother.  At first, we just went around and tasted the sample of food.  A few minutes later, I had no idea where my mom went.  At that moment, I felt nervous because the market was filled with people.
The first thing I would like to do was managed to fing my mom.  Then I started to look for a chubby woman who had curly hair.  Ten minutes later, I was exited that I found a person who was similar to my mom.  As a result, I ran to grasp her hand and kept calling her "mom".  No sooner had she turned around than I felt very embarrassed because she not only wasn't my mom but carried a baby in her arm.  At that time I felt that I was possessed and I burst into crying.  When I was in despair, I found a woman running to me anxiously.  That was my mom.  After she carried my hand, I relaxed.  Though I arrived home savely, I underwent the most embarrassing day.  I would never forget that day.

9 則留言:

  1. fing...find


    exited....excited?



    grasp her hand ....改成gripped her by the arm


    than...then

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  2. 作者已經移除這則留言。

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  3. Then I started to look for a chubby woman (who had) curly hair 括號部分我會用with

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  4. The first thing I would like to do was managed to fing my mom. →find my mom
    Then I started to look for a chubby woman who had curly hair. →Then要加上,

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  5. 還OK
    只是用字有點粗糙
    有些用過的字可以代換

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  6. savely->safely
    When I was in despair->When I was droven into despair???會不會比較好

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  7. *fing 打錯囉
    *exited 打錯囉
    句子的用法都不錯 教過得都有用上去

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  8. a eight-year-old boy 確定是a 和an
    fing.... 要也是fin運動飲料喔
    burst into crying 這句感覺有點怪 介係詞我不確定你用的對不對
    After she carried my hand, I relaxed 要不要用until句形去修飾呢會比較漂亮喔

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